Choices
by RainyDaze101
Summary: People have situations forced upon them,that change not only their lives but the lives of everyone around them forever.Things happen that make you wonder ‘what if'. ‘What if’ there had been a girl who was given a choice would things be different?
1. Default Chapter

Hey Ya'll, this is pretty much a test chapter so if i get good reviews, I'll keep writing, and if I don't I won't watse my time. Plots been used at least a zillion times b4, well kinda. Just read...o and I don't own neone...*gosh darn*  
  
  
  
  
Life never has been fair. People have situations forced upon them, that change not only their lives but the lives or everyone around them forever. Sometime they're good changes...sometime they're not so good. Things happen that make you wonder 'what if....'. Well 'what if' their had been a girl who could have cahnged everything. 'What if' the girl had been given the choice, would things have happened differently?  
  
  
  
D, First Entery Nov. 12  
Imagine living your life in someone else's shadow, being known as 'so-and-so's daughter, or sister, or son, of brother, or cousin, or whatever.'. Never being know for who your are, just being known for who the other person is. Never getting the chance to prove gossip and rumors right or wrong, because people don't ask...they assume. Picture living in a town where how much you matter is determined by how much money your family has in their bank account. In a town where walking alone is almost as dangerous playing Russian Roulette, especially if you a girl my age. A girl with no family, other then an older cousin, who's shadow you live in, and a gang of boys who most people would call 'hoods'. All you want is the chance to prove yourself, make something of yourself, prove to society that not all people living on the East side are stupid. In fact Winston.   
15 years old without much hope of a future unless i can somehow break the endless cycle that everyone in my family has fallen into. . .a live that's hardly worth living. Everyone assumes since my cousin, Dallas, is always in some sort of trouble with the fuzz, that I'll be too. But what people fail to see is that I'm not Dally...I'm Alexa. (Or Lexa or Ally depending on who you talk to. I hardly ever go by Alexa, only three people call me it just as much as they call me one of the other to. And that's Dal, Sodapop Curtis, and Johnny Cade. Mostly everyone else only knows me as Lexa or Ally, or if it's one of the gang Al.) If you took the time to look you'd notice I make straight A's, have never had a lesson but can play piano with the best of 'em, write my own songs, stories, and poems. Plus I run track for my school, am in advance classes, have at least two hundred volunteer hours this year alone, and if you look even close you'd seen numerous awards and honors programs. I'm not a 'hood', or a 'slut' or any of the other thing people associate with the East side girls.  
And because of that I don't have many gal friends, and I mostly hang around with the small 'gang' of guy my cousin hangs around with. It's not really a gang, just a group of 7 boys who stick together, more friends then anything. But however you explain it, trying to explain all the different personalities is like trying to explain every flavor in a bag of Jellybeans, almost no flavor is the same. Dally's the wild dangerous one. Darry's the mature one. Two-Bit's the funny one. Sodapop's the sweetheart. Ponyboy's the dreamer. Steve's the fighter. And Johnny's the 'pet'. Me, well, I'm still trying to figure out exactly where I fit in...that's why I'm starting this journal. Because just as much as society doesn't know who I really am......neither do I. And that's what I'm going to find out.  
  
Always,  
Lexa  
  
"Lexa, I'm leaving and you have 10 seconds to get you ass out here, or you can walk to school." My older cousin voice floated back the hall, and I rolled my eyes. "I'm comin', I'm comin. Don't give yourself a hernia." I mumbled under my breath, as I slid my small leather journal into my purse sliding the zipper shut. I was half way out the door, when I caught a glimpse of my reflection of myself in the mirror. I was wearing a red t-shirt the advertised the company called Jacrabbit Roofing, my friend Darry worked for. It was snug, but not so tight that it looked like I'd painted it on, but it still showed off all my curves. With that shirt, my low-ride blue jeans, and my jean jacket, it was easy to tell I was a greaser. 'Greaser' is what anyone who's poorer then the middle class is classified as. To some people it's almost like a 'hood' or a 'j.d', but we're not quite as bad. We're like firecrackers, most of us don't explode unless someone lights out fuse. We're not like the socs who jump people for kicks, we have to be provoked. I hated being labeled, because as soon as you label someone you lose the ability to really get to know them. And when your girl from the East side who's trying to make her way out of this hell hole, labels make it though. I heard the door slam and the tires screech and I know I'd be walking to school. "Glory Dallas, you have the patients of a two year old with ADD." I mummbled, my books weighting a ton in my arm as i grabbed them off the bed.  
A streak of blondish white hair feel in front of my eyes, and i swiped it away annoyed, as closed the bed room door and walked down the hall of Tim Shepards place. "See ya Tim, thanks for letting me and Dal crash here last night." Tim shepard looked up from the TV and flased me a grin, " No problem, Ally. I'm one of the only guys who can say the actually had Ally Winston in his bed...." Tim ducked as the pillow I throw at him bounced off the coofe table sending a lamp crashing to the floor. "You say anything along those lines, Shepard, and I'll make sure you never have another warm body in that bed of your again." I smiled sweetly making sure to slam the door behind me. "You know you love me Lexa!" Tims oice trailed after me as I made my way down the steps of his house. Tim was a good buddy to have, always willing to let me and Dall sleep at his house, but I swear to god sometimes i just wanted to beat the tar outta him. He was more like a hood then a greaser, so was his younger brother Curly an the boys they bummed around with. Angeala, his sister, was one of the only real good gal grease friends I had, mostly cuase her brother, Tim, my cousin always got into trouble together. The were like simise partens i crime, whe you found one doing something to irritate the fuzz, the other wasn't far behind.  
I heard the soft mumer of a car engine behind me, and a uncontroable grin spread across my face. A grenn broken down hunk of metal wizzed passed me, then stopped suddenly, came back towards me at a hunder miles per hour, ran the curve, and skidded to a stop inchs in front of me. "Get in." The annoyed driver lit a smoke and flicked th ashes out the window. The back end on the car sat neatl parked on the sidewalk, where as the front part hung off the curve and laid in the raod. I couldn't help but laugh as I stepped down off the side walk, walked to the passenager side of the car, and tugged the broken door open. "Hun, here in America, people go on the sidewalk, not cars. And I thought'd you'd left." I smirked,as Dallas put the car into drive and took off down the road, so fast the trees were blurs on the side of the raod.. "Munckin, I was half way to Buck's place, and I turned around. Stupid f***in' promise I made you......" I rasied an eyeborw and stared at the trees wizing by. I remeber that promise.  
  
  
"Dal, you don't have to go. Please Dal, don't leave me....." Tears had flowed down my cheeks, as my 11year old cosuin shouved clothes into a suitcase. "I ain't staying here Lexa.I can't put up with him beating on me any more. I can't stay." Dally said locking the suit casse, and dropping it out the window. He looked so much older standing there in the moonlight of my bed room window, the moon reflecting off his paltnum blond hair. His jaw was clenched, and his green eyes had the firy galre to them. "Then take me with you. I don't wanna stay here alone Dally, please." I knew better then to fight with Dally when he looked like that, but i couldn't help it. I stood there to horrified to move, as my cousin slid out the window into the dark night. "Dally don't lkeave me...please..Dallas...." My voice was hourse from all the crying, and I still don't know how Dallas managed to hear me. He slid back into the rom, through the window and stood there looking at me, I could tell he was frusted and angery. My knees were shaking so bad I could hardly stand, and the room was starting to spin. I mus have looked as awful as I felt becaause Dally lost that tough look and shifted his weight to his other leg. Suddenly he looked extremly uncomferable, not at all like the rough boy I usually saw. "Munchkin..." Dal had whispered, and the next ting I knew I was snuggled against his chest, wrapped in the warmth of his arms. My cousin had held me, my sobs shaking us both. He held me, jsut whispering wahtever he could think of until my tears had suibsided and stopped. We'd rocked back and father gentally, and his breath was waerm as he whipsered into my ear. "Lexa, I'll never leave without you. No matter what, I'll always come back for you. I promise." I remember sniffingly lightly and he'd brushed a strand of real ligh blond hair from my eyes. I smiled softly and mummble a muffled "I know." Into my cousin chest.  
  
Dallas had never really left me since then, when i hadn't wanted him to. It didn't matter if it was a smiple ride to school, or a rumble, Dallas awlays kept his promse. He went on swearing good natuarlly, just to make it seem he was upset about truing around. I smiled, knowing under it all he really didn't mind. "I love you, Dallas." , I said smoothly, grinning widly as the wind blow my hair into my eyes. Dallas looked at me, then a smike slid across his face. Notthe kind of smirk he usually had when he was trying to look tough or getting into trouble. A real smile. "I love you too, kid." Dal whispered, as he turned of the main road to the parkingy lot of the hell-hole i'd be trap in for the next few hours. "Now get out, and if I find out you ditch I'll skin you. Someone in this family gotta get a job." I laughed and kissed him on the cheek quickly before getting out of the car, and walking towards the cold stone building. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! I want to thank everyone who reviewed my last chapter *wipes tear *, your reviews made me feel wanted.....Hehe. I decided to post the next chapter or ya'll, and I'm sorry about all the mistakes in the last one. I don't have the best typing skill at 3am....please forgive me, and you'll find the spelling and grammar are better in this chapter. Nothing really exciting has happened yet, but I'm using these first few chapters to establish the relationship between Lexa and the gang so I won't have to explain it through out the whole story. The one things I own from this story so far are Lexa, Mrs. Macky, and the Tee Shirt Lexa was wearing in the last chapter (really I do, I got it at American Eagle!). Mr. Cole is my principal so I guess he owns himself, I dunno how that works, lol. Everyone else belongs to S.E. Hinton, and I'm making to money 4m this story...boo hiss....Ok enough with that I'll let you read the story now......REVIEW!  
0u+z, Daze.  
  
  
Ch.2  
The hour hand pointed to the 2 and the small minute hand to 35 after, and I watch as the rubber eraser on the end of my yellow pencil bounced slowly off my desk. To me school was pretty much the same as the way Dal described prison. You operated on someone else's schedule, you ate when they told you to, you left when the told you to, you even when to the bathroom when the said you could. There was one real difference that I cold see, in prison here was action. The most action in school, was the light reflection off the skin on my science teacher's bald head. Mr. Cole was going on and on about the reproduction of sun flowers, totally off subject of what we'd be talking about. I glanced at the clock again, he minute hand had only moved one line. In twenty-four minutes I'd be outside with the warm sun soaking into my skin. My hand was cold as I set my chin in it, my eyes drifting towards the window that ran the length of the wall next to me. The clouds were gliding lazily across the, glowing in the yellow sun, and I watched as they passed before it sending a cold gray shadow over everything.   
I reached slowly into my purse beside my desk, trying to keep from catching the attition of Mr. Cole, who at the moment was now rambling about the possibility of living on Uranus. I felt around, swearing quietly when I poked myself with my nail file, then letting a small smirk play across my lips when I found what I was looking for. After retrieving it from my bag, I opened my journal on my desk and turned slowly to the page where I'd last written.   
  
D, Second Entry Nov.25  
  
Help me, I'm stuck in school and I can't get out! I know I said I was a good student but sitting in last period, with 20 minutes left till the weekend could get on anyone's nerves. My only saving grace is the fact I have two of the gang in this class, Johnny Cade and Ponyboy Curtis, who at the moment are looking as bored as I feel. Pony's staring out the window, probably day dreaming about something he read in some book. I swear the boy reads anything he can get his hands on. He'd read the back of a soup can if he didn't have anything else. By the way that's his real name. He has a brother named Sodapop, and if you don't believe me look at their birth certificates. Their parents were real original people. Yeah I said were, they were both killed in some freak car accident a few months ago. They'd been driving home behind this big truck, that was carrying logs, and the ties had come undone. The car had been totaled and they'd died instantly. Soda and pony's oldest brother Darry is the legal guardian now, and he's given up a lot for his little brothers. He gave up collage and works roofing houses from dawn till dusk to keep that family together. Sodapop even dropped out of school to help kept Pony in. I don't think Pony really knows just how much his brothers love him. Especially Darry. They don't get along real well and Dar's always fretting to him about something.   
But poor Soda's the one that feels it the most, he's the middle child and is always playing the middleman between his brothers. I don't think they understand how much it hurts him sometimes to hear them fight. But I don't think Soda'd ever say anything to 'em about it. He's too much of a sweetheart. He'll listen to your problems for hours, and he'll have something eating away at him that's a thousand times bigger then your problem. It's not that he's a real private guy, it's just that he cares too much about everyone else. Soda's one of my best friends, one of the only guys I can go to with any problem. I'd do anything for him, probably even kill. I can get him to tell me his problems if I try hard enough, and you'd be amazed the things this kid keeps bottled up inside.   
Ponyboy and Soda are pretty close, and I think that sometimes hurts Darry. He's only 20 years old, but he has so much responsibility. In the matter of a few months he's gone from being our buddy to an old man. It scares me a little to tell the truth. He hardly laughs, or even smiles any more, and I don't know if I'm the only one who's noticed it or not.  
Well thank goodness the bells about to ring. I'll write more later.  
  
Always, Lexa  
  
I chewed idly on the end of my pencil, closed my book lightly, sliding it slowly back into my small navy purse. I watched as the small red hand of the clock tick quickly across the white face, and as soon as it hit the 12 a shrill bell rang out loudly causing my babbling teacher to stop mid sentence. Sweat glistened lightly off his bald head, as he put on one of those forced smiles and mumble for us to have a good weekend. I gathered my books slowly and stood slowly from my desk, a thousand little prickles shot through my leg and I made a mental note not to sit on it next time. I maneuvered my way around my peers and their desk, before stopping at the first one in my row. "Hey Johnnycake." The young man sitting in it looked up slowly and smiled a smile the resembled the one my teacher had given us. A forced smile, it didn't even light up his sad big black eyes. "Hey Munchkin", Johnny Cade replied calling me the name that was off limits to anyone besides him and Dally. Not even Soda was aloud to address me by Munchkin, it was Johnny and Dally's pet name for me. I don't remember exactly when or why they started calling me that, but it had stuck.  
Ponyboy Curtis had once told me Johnny reminded him of a little scared looking dog that'd been kicked to many times then left out on a crowded street. And, when you got to know him, you could see that the fear ran much deeper then his looks. But if you didn't know Johnny very well, I guess he'd look just like the rest of the gang. Tough, rough, rowdy, cold. But just like the rest of the gang, with the exception of maybe my cousin and Steve Randle, looks were deceiving. Johnny was the sweetest thing in the world, and had the same problem as Soda with worrin' bout everyone. He usually had a scared, jumpy look in his eyes, and his home life gave him a reason for it. Johnny practically kissed the ground my cousin walked on, Dally's word was law with Johnny. If you ask me it was good for both of them, Johnny had someone to look up to, and Dal had someone to care (and worry) about other then me (which kept me form being under constant surveillance.)   
"Ya'll gonna stand there all day, or are we leaving?" Another voice, not much louder then Johnny's spoke up breaking my from my trance. I turned and smiled at Ponyboy Curtis, who was leaning slightly on the desk beside him. "Hey good looking." I quipped, and the tips of Pony's ears turned crimson instantly. Pony was almost as good looking as his brother, Sodapop. He had the same green-gray eyes and drop dead smile, only was his hair was a few shades darker blond almost brown. The only thing that kept him from having a thousand girls clinging to him was his shyness, he didn't know just how cute he was. HE was younger then both Johnny and myself, he'd just turned 14. He's skipped a grade somewhere along the line, which goes back to what I was saying before about not all greasers being dumb.   
"Come on ya'll." I shook slightly as Johnny's soft words cleared my thoughts and put my feet into action. "Alright, I'm coming..." I started to walk out slowly from the classroom when a thought came ti mind, causing me to grin giddily. I feel in step behind Johnny, before boosting myself up onto his back. Leaning close to his ear I whisper sweetly. "But I wanna ride." He tensed for a second, then relaxed and continued our journey from out to the crowded hall. I laid my head gently on his shoulder as he navigated his way easily around groups of talking socs and to my locker. I had a habit of, as Darry called, 'babying him' when I felt it was needed. Just little things like offering a little more attition, more hugs, more kind words, to let him know he had someone who cared. Everyone in the gang was guilty of trying to makeup to Johnny the 'family' he missed at home. We never spoke of it, it was just an understood rule among us, it always had been.   
""Ponyboy, did old Mrs. Macky say we had to turn that history report in tomorrow?" I questioned as I lower my self from Johnny's back, and dutifully spun the combination into my lock. Pulling down roughly on the lock, which had a habit of sticking, I glanced over at Pony and realized his green eyes were staring past me. "What in the world are you looking at?" Before he could answer I felt a cold hand on my arm, and I was spun roughly around and pushed up against my locker. My head hit with a 'thud' and instantly started throbbing.  
I was taken a back for a second, while the hazy thoughts dance through my head, and I watch as the red dots float before my eyes. A cold, deep male voice brought me back to my sense. " Hey Winston. I need some answers, and you better make sure they're the right ones....." 


	3. Chapter 3

Wooh! Chapter 3 *does happy dance. *! Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story so far, ya'll are what keep me writing....:-). Someone asked if this takes before or after the book, and the answer is it starts before the book, goes through the book, and ends after the book. I really hope this chapter doesn't suck, I wrote it Saturday night around 1am, and I'm hoping it's not too bad, so ya'll let me know what you think. Speaking of letting me know what you think I need to know who you'd rather see a romance fiction wrote about Two-Bit or Johnny. I was kinda thinking Johnny cuz he doesn't seem to get much love, but ya'll let me know what you want k? Ummm.... same disclaimer as before except I own Jeff and Beck too, but you can have them cuz I really don't care. Just don't take Lexa, (without asking nicely first. *wink, wink *). Ok I'm going to stop rambling now, and let your read the story...REVIEW!!!! 0u+z, Daze  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jeff Baker, Lord I hated that guy. He was your basic soc, equipped with little more then his Daddy's money and semi good looks. He had the charm of a snake and ½ the intelligence. And the idea of a pential fight with him hung heavy on my conscience. He had dark brown eyes, so dark the almost resembled Johnny's, except they had a cold hard gaze to them. His red hair was cut to his scalp in a buzz cute, and his nose seemed almost too large for his face. Dallas once told me 'never pick a fight with a guy who has no good looks to lose. Cuz they'll fight rough as can be, and you'll always come out worse off, even if you win.' I knew that Jeff was living proof of that remark. "What do you want Jeffery? I have things to do and I can't waste my time with goons like you." My tone was bored as I said this, unfailing with no hint of fear. I wasn't scared of this guy, and threat was evident in my voice. He tightens his grip on my arms, and leaned close to my face. "I heard your cousin Dallas tried to pick up Becky the other night." He snarled referring to his whore of a younger sister. "This doesn't mean anything to me so far, so if you have a point to make please get on with it, you're wasting my time." I yawned, and with a toss of my head removed a strand of hair from my eyes. "I don't like trash trying to get fresh with my little sister. And I'm gonna teach that cousin of yours a lesson if I found out it's true. Is it true?" Glory this guy was dumber the I had originally suspected.  
Like I'm going to tell him that Dal had sleeped with his kid sister and let him bet Dal to a pulp. Yeah that would happen the same day hell froze over. I kept the bored tone in my voice as I replied "I don't keep a list of girls my cousin screws, and it just breaks my heart that I can't help you. Maybe next time you and her are going at it you should see if she screams out his name!" Everyone in earshot broke into laughter and Jeff turned red with anger. Oh glory, my big mouth and me. I should go to confession after school, I thought dully. "Why you little..." He drew his hand back and I tried to loosen the muscles in my face, hoping tat would ease the impact of the punch. This wouldn't be the first time I'd gotten a black eye from a guy looking for trouble with my cousin, and it wouldn't be that last. But I didn't rat on family, and Dal was the only family I had. He brought his arm forward, but in mid air someone grabbed his arm, and spun him around. Johnny staggered forward and grabbed my hand pulling me into the crowd. As we ran towards the main entrance of the school, I glanced over my shoulder and grinned when I saw Two-Bit Matthew's pounding Jeff into the floor.   
We busted out the front door and sprinted across the school lawn. The three of us hoped into Two-Bit's broken down truck and waited for him to emerge from the school. I looked at the faces of the two boys next to me, and couldn't help but laugh. They were both pale, with huge eyes and mouths hanging opened. "What were you thinking?" Pony stammered with eyes still huge with surprise, sending me into a fresh fit of giggles. When I could finally speak without gasping for breath I exclaim as coolly as I could manage, "I haven't the slightest idea." And broke into a fresh fit of laughter.  
After about three minutes the door opened and Two-Bit sat down, grinning from ear to ear at me. "Al, that was the smoothest remark I've ever heard. You've done me mighty proud." He wiped away a fake tear and I took a bow. "Thank you very much. I learned from the best." Two-Bit clutched his heart, eyes wide with fake pride. "Such a sweet girl." A put a dumb look on my face and tried to sound bewildered, "Two-Bit I was talking about Jonnhy." And we both cracked up. He put the car in drive, going straight over a garden the school had planted next to the parking lot, which sent us into another fit of laughter. Johnny and Pony just started at us not quit understanding how Two Bit and I could play me almost getting punch off as a joke. I couldn't explain it to them, but Two Bit and I understood our humor at such a time. We both used humor to cover or when we were scared, or upset, or remembering things we longed to forget.   
We had a weird relationship that at sometimes extended past the point of friends. We'd fooled around a few times, but it never went beyond that. He never pressured me for sex, and I was glad, because I know I wasn't ready. I'm still not. We never tried an actual relationship, there was too great an age difference, and I don't think either of us thought of the other in that light. I'd never messed around with anyone other then him, because I trust him. He'd been my first real kiss when I was 12 and he was 15, I would never forget that kiss.   
We were sitting on the Curtis' front porch, waiting for one of them to get home and sipping on Cokes. Well at least I was, what Two-Bit had really been drinking I shall leave unsaid. And I'd been saying something about not being sure if I knew how to kiss right, and suddenly his lips were on mine. They were really soft, and warm, and it sent a shock wave through my body. When we'd pulled back, he assured me with no waver in his voice that I was an excellent kisser.   
I still remember one time when I'd been at Two-Bits house while his mom was at work and his sister was at a friend's house. We'd been lying on his bed, making out pretty heavily and his hand had found it way under my shirt. Then all of a sudden the door had swung open and my cousin had strolled in. Two-Bit and I had sprung straight up and Two Bit was already starting to say something, when Dallas said simply, "You screw her, and I break every bone in your body." Closed the door and left. Considering he'd pretty much ruined the moment I'd kissed two Bit one last time, and ran out the door after him. I found him the living room watching TV and I asked him why he wasn't pissed. He'd shrugged and said simply, "If your screwing around with Two Bit, I know he won't make you do anything. I trust him, and I'd rather you be with him the some ass on the street." I don't think I actually breathed for 3 minutes after that.  
"Lex, you ok?" Johnny's soft vice asked from beside me and for the second time that day snapped my from the thoughts. I looked at him and grinned, "Yeah I'm fine I was just thinking about my first kiss.....Don't ask..." I answered honestly and out of the cornor of my eye I saw Two-Bit grin. Turning smoothly I cocked an eyebrow at Two Bit, "And what are YOU grinning about Mr. Matthew's?" He looked at me, a smile playing on his lips and a glime in his eye and laughing he answer, "The same thing." We smiled at each other, and the two others in the car sent us confused looks (no one knows about that kiss except us, and no one know about us except Dallas.)  
We pulled in the DX station where Pony's brother Sodapop and his friend Steve Randle worked. Two-Bit parked the truck and Johnny and Pony opened the door easily and started walking towards a car with a pair of legs under it and a group of girls around it. I Grabbed Two-Bit hand just before he got out and he turned towards me. There was no joking tone in my voice as I said simply. "Thanks, Two-Bit. That was really sweet of you." He smiled, and replied "I wasn't going to let anyone hurt you Lexa. You mean to much to me." That really caught me off guard, and I searched his face for some indication of a joke. Two-bit never said anything like that to me, ever. But he was serious, and I didn't know how to react. He did though he leaned down kissed me lightly on the lips, before sliding out of the car and closing the door. Leaving me sitting there feeling extremely giddy.  
  
  
  
  
REVIEWS ARE WANTED! 


	4. Chapter 4

Guess what...here's chapter FOUR! Wooh!!! Wooh! Lol, just so ya'll know i have chapters 5,6,and 7 already written, and the more good reviews I get the sooner I'll post 'em. Speaking of reviews I wanna thank ElfPiolt for reading and review every chapter so far...it really gives me something to look forward to *sniff, sniff! * Hehe, if I use Two-Bit will you hurt me......(please say no please say no, cuz I'll hafta rework my plot AGAIN...lol......). Thanks for reviewing! Just so ya'll know I own nothing.....I mean it, I live at home with my mom and she buys the food and everything. So if you sue me all you'll get is my copy of The Outsiders, a few dimes my red Rabbit Roffing shirt for American Eagle, and a paper clip, and maybe my 2Pac cd if your lucky. So don't bother, you'll lose more $$ then you gain. Lol, with all that said I'll let u read the story, and please, please PLEASE review. *drops to knees and begs with sad puppy eyes* Lol, 0u+z, Daze.....  
  
  
Chapter 4!!  
  
Finally getting some feeling back in my legs, I slid off the seat in Two-Bits truck, and slammed the door shut. "You mean to much to me.", his words rang solely in my ears, my head buzzing with confusion. Where the hell had that come from? I mean I'm use to hey guys telling me that if anyone hurt me, they would beat the tar outta them, but never had any of them said anything remotely close to what Two-bit had just said. Except maybe Dally, but that was different. I kicked at a cap to a pop bottle, sending in flying in front of me. 'Could he....naw, Lexa that's crazy. He's 18 for god sakes. Yeah we've messed around but that's just because......well I dunno, Two-Bit, me? It's insane.' These thought presented themselves before me, leaving me feeling quite stupid for even thinking them. That would never happen, I just took it the wrong way. He hadn't ment anything by it, or had he? To many thoughts and possibilities crowded my head and I followed suit of my favorite fictional character, 'I won't think of it now. I'll think of it later, at home where I can bear it.' I grinned comparing myself to the southern belle Scarlett O'Hara from Margrett Mitchel's classic Gone with the Wind. And for a second, as i walked across the asphalt of the DX gas station, I was Scarlett O'Hara, in all her beauty and grace, walking across the acres of Tara.   
The image lasted for a second, the suddenly I found myself being slung the world spinning in dizzy circles. A looked into the grinning face of my captor, and barked sourly "Soda Curtis stop that right this second and let me go or I'll throw up all in your hair!" The world was suddenly more defiant and I took three staggering steps before losing my balance and falling. A pair of strong arms caught me and I grinned up at Two-Bit. "Thanks, i think I needed that." I mumble weakly, feeling quite nauseous. Two-Bit and Sodapop nearly feel down laughing, lightheaded and dizzy I started up at his laughing face and felt the urge to smack them both. Pulling away from the arms that had been holding me upright, I stumble across the parking fuming and quit embarrassed.  
I slung open the door to the main part of the station, cursing the ding of the little bell and made my way over to the counter. I leaned against the wood, glad to have something to hold on to because the world was still spinning slightly before my eyes. "You look like shit." My Steve Randle said, looking up from some trash magazine he'd been indulged in. I rolled my eyes, and shot him a look. "I love you too, baby." I mumble. He grinned widely and stuck him nose back inside the magazine. "That's disgusting. Girls getting paid to pose like that in magazines. Then you sit there and fantasize over someone thousands of miles away who's been airbrushed to perfection. It's sick." I said finally when my stomach had returned to it's normal position inside of me. Steve looked up at me grinning like a tom cat, "Well you could pose for me like this in life if you want. I have no objections." He ducked as I tossed the bell that had been sitting next to me on the counter at his head, and laugh so hard tears rolled down his cheek. I tried to bite my lip, but a grin was unstoppable and I started laughing to.  
The only thing hotter then Steve's temper was his lighter, and it was a close call. He could be mean as snakes if you pushed one of his buttons wrong. His short temper was the only thing he inherited from his alcoholic father, who regularly once a week tore away his pride then kicked him out. I think that's what really made Steve act so tough, because if he didn't then he'd never be able to make it with his father.  
I wasn't sure if Steve's dad ever laid a hand on him, and if he had Steve never said anything to me about it. Steve tried to act like nothing bother him, that he didn't care his father was a rotten drunk, and his mother a small lady to scared to do anything about it. But I could see in his eyes that it really did, I'm not sure if it was because I carried the same look in my eyes or because when he was around me he was like an actor who's had to repeat the same line to many times , sick of pretending. Steve and I had an understanding that want deeper then words, a bond the was unspoken but vividly there. Out father's were a lot a like, but fourtinally for me I didn't have to deal with mine everyday. Daddy....gosh how long has it been since I've seen him. 3, 4 years? I remembered that day plainly, he'd come storming into my5th grade calls room, swearing up a storm demanding to see his little girl. He'd been drunker then lord knows what, and how he found me is still a mystery. My teacher had called the fuzz, and they'd taken him away before the eyes of all my classmates. They teased me so bad after that, I hide in the bathroom until the bell rang for us to go home. Dal had chewed his old man out for telling my dad where I was. Bitter memories brought wet puddles of tears to my eyes and I blinked them back hastily. "What's eating you Lexa?" Steve's voice was calm, and steady. I wiped my eyes on my blue jean jacket and softly mumble "Thinking about 5th grade." He nodded and punch me on the shoulder lightly. No more expiation was needed he understood "Must be something between all verbally abused kids, with drunk dads." I thought stupidly, as I picked at a hold on the knee of my jeans.  
Just then the door swung open and Soda followed by his brother walked in. Now if anyone would have asked me who's the most attractive guy I know, I woulda answered Soda Curtis, without a second thought. As all the soc girls say "He's to die for!", and he was. But Soda was more then good looks, he had to be the sweetest guy I'd ever met. They kinda guy straight out of the pages of some novel or a movie, a real prince charming. He had this contagious kind of smile, that once you saw it took days to get out of your head. When I was younger, 9 or 10, I had a crush on him to the point where the guys would tease me to tears over it. Soda had been the only one who hadn't teased me (even Johnny had picked on me to some extent), he'd just smile that smile of his and tell me I was a 'cute kid'. If any other guy would have gotten as much attition as Soda, it would gone right to his head, and we would have gone from girl to girl, just because he could. But Soda wasn't like that, he'd been with "his Sandy" for about a year now, and hadn't as much as kissed another girl, though he was offered plenty of opportunities. I didn't like Sandy, she wasn't good enough for a great guy like Soda if you ask me, but well no one double check with me before they stated dating.   
"Hey Lexabug." He said ruffling my hair as he made his way by. I grinned and kick him on the butt as he walked by. I sat there for a few more minutes joking around with the guys before a mob of giddy, giggling girls came in flirting with Sodapop. This was my cue to leave. I hopped down from the counter, pecking each boy on the cheek, getting glares of steel from all the girls when Soda kissed me on the cheek in return. I laughed and steadily made me way from the mob out he door.  
The sun was warm on my arms and I turned my head towards the sky to feel it's rays. Passing Johhny and Two-Bit, I gave a brief expiation that I was going for a walk and would see them later. "Mind if I join you?" Two-Bit question, raising an eyebrow (his signature trade mark.) My heart sped up, and I had to look away as I reply, "No, not really." And for the first time in the 15 years I'd been alive, I felt nervous around one of my best pals. 


	5. Chapter 5

Ok this story seems to be going a little slow, and I'm gonna try to make it as exciting as I can without making it too impersonal. What I'm TRYING to do is, make you see exactly how Lexa's feeling and dealing with things, because in later chapters her views on things are pretty much the whole thing...lol. Thanks 2 ElfPilot, ???? (lol that's what it said and I'm wondering is ???? the same person the reviews every ch??), and Angel02 for letting me known what they thought of my last chapter, ya'll r gr8t! After the next two chapters I'm going to try something a little different and once in a while throw in Two-Bit, Dally's, Soda's ,Steve's, Johnny's or Pony's POV in for a lil 'spice..' Darry's the only POV I'm not gonna do, cuz he's kinda scary...hehe.. :-). I own Lexa, and that's about all. So if u sue, you'll get less then nothin'. Well here ya go, i hope u like the chapter. REVIEW! 0u+z, Daze.  
  
  
So there we were walking towards the Curtis place, Two-Bit clouded in his usual ring of smoke. (Smokin has to be the most disgusting habit of them all.......I've been trying to get the guys to quite for ages, but so far non of em have really listened to me other then Soda, and he doesn't' smoke that often anyway....) I don't think I can recall a time my hands shook so fiercely, and my hands felt so clammy. 'This is really stupid, I mean for Pete's sake, this is TWO-BIT!' I thought dully, hiding my shaking hands deep in my back pockets. No matter how hard i tried to tell myself I was acting like all those twits in my neighbor hood that I took such pride in standing apart from. Nothing slowed the beating of my heart, and the shaking of my hands.   
"So this guy walks into a bar with a dog under one arm and a sausage under the other...." Two-Bit chattered freely, telling a joke he's told at least a thousand times before. My eyes trailed after a freshly paint blue Mustang that was pulling out from the abandon lot where we hung around. "Hey, Two-Bit, what are socs doing this far east? Aren't they outta their turf?" I cut poor Two-Bit off, just before he delivered his punch line, my finger direction his gaze towards the car. "Yeah Wonder what....." That's when we saw them. Soda, Pony, and Steve running in a mad dash towards a bump in the lot. We were close enough that i could make out something slung over Steve's shoulder, Johnny's only jacket. Johnny....the idea must have struck Two-Bit at the same time, because he grabbed my hand and we sprinted towards were the small group was huddled. "Please God, don't let it be Johnny. Please God Don't Let It Be Johnny...please god....." My feet pounded this rhythm on the ground and it seem impossible that what had could have been a few feet a minute ago, now seemed like a thousand long pain staking mile. I heard a moan, low and full of agony, and my heart throbbed. I came up short behind Soda who had fallen to his knees with Steve beside him. Two-Bit was still clutching my hand, and I let out a small yelp. I felt my self begin to swagger, and leaned into Two-Bit to keep from keeling over from the site. He held me close, his face cold as stone no emotion readable in his beautiful gray eyes. "Johnny..." his name slid over my lips in a horse whisper, and I was sure he was dead. He had to be, no one could have been beaten that bad and survived.  
I'd seen Johnny pretty roughed up before, his dad was a raging alcoholic and took it out on sweet Johnny. Turning him from a once care free child, into a jumpy young man with a few wacks of his belt. I'd even seen in old men beat him, while I stood there helpless not knowing exactly what to do, But seeing him the way he was laying there, blood crusted all over his young face which was twisted in agony, nearly made me sick. 'please let him be alive, I'll do anything just let him be alive.' I prayed silently to any god i thought would listen. Soda held him gently to his chest, his 'mother goose' instinks taking over, brushing straw strand of black hair from Johnny's battered face. "Johnny...Johnnycake?" Soda gave the limp body a slight shake, and Johnny let out a groan. "Soda?" He was alive, o thank every god i heaven he's alive. I thought giddily, leaning closer to Two-Bit. "There...there was a whole bunch of 'em....a blue Mustang full..." I heard Two-Bit let out a muffled curse, as Johnny went on against Soda's orders. "I was so scared...stupid filthy...." He broke down into tears, the ran don his cheeks like flowing rivers, and I nearly started sobbing myself. He didn't deserve this, and it wouldn't have been so bad if it had been anyone other then Johnny, but Johnny was the gangs pet, and we felt an obligation to keep him from experiencing more pain then he already had.   
Looking around silently i noticed the whole gang had flocked to the lot. Darry, Dally, Soda, Steve, Pony, Two-Bit, me...all drawn as if by a force. I looked at their faces, hoping to find the strength the right thing to say in their eyes, bt it was no help. Two-bit was beside me his comical grin gone with out a trace, and his gray eyes cold and stromy with emotions, his arm was around my waist, for his comfert as much as mine I guess. Pony was on the other side of Two bit, looking horrified, and I was greatful Johnny couldn't see the repulsed look in Pony's child-like eyes. Steve was next to Soda, his face drained of emotion, much like the look he wore when he told us his father had kicked him out...again. Soda was gently rocking Johnny's sobbing body, muttering soothing words into his ear, tears brimming in his own eyes. Darry stood behind me, a stern look on his face, a look that told us everything would be alright, but his eyes...in his eyes were fear. My cousin was next to me, he was turned away but from what i could see of his face he look....sick? I understood, because Johnny was Dally's pet, the little brother he'd never had even though they were almost the same age, I know what it was like to see someone who was family looking the way Johnny did. 'Mama...' I thought dully remembering images from lifetimes ago "We have to get him inside, i heard Darry whisper to no one imperticular, but nodded anyways. Getting him inside with causing more pain was going to be hard, but we had to do it. Darry knelt down next to Soda, pushing me gently to the side, and Two-Bit released me from his embrace to help. Dally's eyes were glazed over, and fixed on a tree down the road. It hurt to see him looking like that, but i know better then to disturb him. "Johnny, buddy we're gonna have to lift you up. We're gonna try not to hurt you, alright buddy?" Darry's voice was as if he was talking to a very young child. He slid his arms under Johnny's back and legs and as gently as he could lifted him up. Johnny yelped in pain, and I filched. A look of guilty and terror crossed Darry's face for a brief second then disappeared. Our small group made it's way slowly across the street and to the Curtis boy's home. I opened the door, allowing Darry with a nearly limp Johnny inside.   
Suddenly I felt someone shaking my shoulders, and Steve's face appeared before me. "Breath Lexa, breath." I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath, and as I exhaled I heard a shrill cry come from the Curtis spear bedroom, and Darry came running out eyes wide with horror. 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey everybody! I'm really happy with the reviews I've been getting, they make my day! Kinda weird there's always no more then 3 reviews for a chapter, there's always exactly three....lol my new lucky number. Anyway this chapter kinda just fills the gap between 5 and 7...has a little bit of needed information. Also a lot of stuff is going on in my personal life right now, a lot of bad stuff. The good news is when I'm trying to not think about stuff I lose myself in writing and write... A LOT! But the bad news is that I get side tracked easy, like with remembering to actually post chapters and stuff, and if there's someone one willing to kinda e-mail me once in a while, and yell at me to update, it'll be a great help until everything works it's self out. Umm...I still owe only Lex, the only way you can take her is if u ask and I say yes. Other then that u take her and I'll sue you...lol, j/k. Well here's the next chapter I hope you like it. REVIEW!  
  
  
  
  
"He just passed out....went white as a sheet and passed out!" Darry's voice was shaking drastically, and it was the first time in a long time I'd actually seen him scared. "maybe we should call a doctor...." Steve shot Pony a look, and rolled his eyes dramatically, "Right genius, like they're gonna do anything other then look at him, do nothing and charge us." Pony's ears redden, and I shoved Steve slightly, "Shut-up alright, it wasn't a bad idea. Ignore him Pony, but calling a doctor probably wouldn't do much good. It was a good idea though." Pony grinned a little, and Steve shot me a bored glare. "Maybe someone should go sit with him while we figure out what to do." Darry's voice was steady, but his hands fidgeted nervously. Six pairs of worried eyes turned towards me, I nodded slightly, and taking a deep breath started the walk back the hall. I looked over the pictures that hung on the nearly bare walls, there were only a few, butt each was hung with such a pride to it that you couldn't help but notice. The first one was for the three boys before I know them A small looking Pony, on a grinning Soda's (who's two front teeth were gone.) back, and a laughing younger version of Darry, no more then 9 or 10. That was so long ago, and since then so many things have changed since the day that picture was taken. The next was a picture of the whole Curtis family, Darry, Soda, Pony, Mr. Curtis and Mom. (Mrs. Curtis and I had been really, and she'd done so many things for Dally, keep him focus better then I couldn't, and Mom had just seemed to fit. She'd told me I was the daughter she never had, the day before she died. But i'll tell you more about that later on.), in which they were all smiling as if they were having the time of their lives. The last picture on the wall was my favorite, it had been taken last year on my 14th birthday. It was of the whole gang, and we were crowded on the front steps. Darry, Two Bit and Steve were crowed on the top step, then Soda, me and Pony on the next one, and in front of us sat Dal and Johnny. Two_Bit had his arms wrapped around my shoulders and I was grinning. I'd received a copy of that picture in a scrapbook they'd given me this year on my birthday. "Lexa...." a soft voice moaned, and I scolded myself for taking so long. I closed the distance between myself and Johnny in three long strides, before stopping at the door. I had to prepare myself, because if went in this room shaking the way I was now, one look at him would send my to tears. I took a deep breath, welcoming the air into my lungs, and closed my eyes counting to 10.   
I opened my eyes, and someway or another managed to get my legs to move, though they were shaking like Jell-O. Johnny was laying on his side, facing the wall but from the way his shoulders were vibrating I could tell he was crying. I grabbed an old wooden chair from the side of the room, and pulled it next to the bed. "Johnnycake?" I touch his shoulder lightly, and he rolled over slowly to look at me. Good he look awful, and I know it must be nothing compared to the way he felt. Johnny was one of the best guys a girl could ask to have as a friend, and it hurt me to se him looking so small and scared. "Oh honey..." with my thumb I wiped away a tear that was making it's way down it battered face, and when I pulled my thumb back it was covered in red blood. I wiped it on my jeans, grimacing at the thought that it was Johnny's blood. "It hurts so bad Lex, everything hurts so bad. I guess a look pretty awful." He attempted to sit up, but made an awful face and laid back down. I touched his face gently, caressing the side that was least bruised. His other cheek had a long gash from his temple to his check bone, and was still bleeding lightly. "I think you look very handsome. I just don't get how someone could do this to anyone, especially someone as sweet as you Johnny." He managed a mangled grin, and just then the door opened and in came Sodapop with a bowl of water and a washcloth. ""Hey Johnny, thought it be a good idea to let this beautiful young lady clean ya up a little. You can stay in here tonight. Let me say that again, you ARE staying in here tonight. Let me know if you need anything." Soda handed me the water and washcloth, ruffled Johnny's hair a little and walked out closing the door behind him. I could read it on his face, he wouldn't be able to stay in the room with Johnny without breaking down. That's just the way Soda was, it was like he felt everyone's pain, and accepted it willingly. Johnny's eyes were closed, and I dipped the washcloth into the water, then slowly ran it across with bruised cheek.   
He moaned lightly and I hesitated waiting for him to say something. But he didn't he just lay there with his eyes closed, face pinch in pain. We sat silently for a few minutes, the once white washcloth soak in red. I'd gotten most of the blood off, when he spoke. "They got me down so fast,...I tried to run, but they were quicker...I didn't think they'd ever stop. I was so scared Alexa, cuz they kept saying stuff while the were beating on me. They threaten me with everything they could think of. He said they were gonna find you, and really have some fun....." My face twisted in confusion, and I asked quietly. "Who, Johnny?" He gulp, and rubbed his side then answered weakly, "Baker...." My fist clenched, and I swore. Anger filled my mind taking over every emotion, ever sense I had. I hated Jeff more in that one minute that I had ever hated anyone in my life. Then a new thought came into my mind, tearing away all the others. I bit my lip, tears piercing my eyes, and I looked away from Johnny.   
I felt a trembling hand on my bare arm, and looked back into Johnny's big black eyes. I smiled at him lightly, "I'm gonna go see if Soda or Pony have some clothes you could borrow, and I'll wash those. I'll be right back, honey." I leaned down, kissing his forehead gently, and walked out of the room. I didn't stop in the living room where everyone was pacing nervously. "Soda, you or Pony got something Johnny can wear? And one of ya'll go sit with him, I need some air." I tossed the words over my shoulder as I opened the door and stepped into the cool dusk air. I shut the door softly behind me, and sat on the top step . I drew my knees to my chest, lowered my head into my arms, and let the tears come. I know why Jeff had beaten up Johnny, and the realization tore at my heart. I closed my eyes, and whispered softly into the night air, "It was because....." 


	7. Chapter 7

* wipes tears * No one viewed my last chapter.....I'm really hurt. So if ya'll ae reading this please go back and you know, write something for ch.6, it would mean a lot to me. Are ya'll getting bored with this story, or do you like it? Cuz if ya'll will just bear with me a little longer it's gonna get more interesting. Just let me know what you think. Newho all I own is Lexa, and this is a short chapter, cuz well...I have a short attition span (and I still don't know how 2 spell that.) On with the story...PLEASE REVIEW!!!  
  
  
  
"Because of what Lexa?' Dally was suddenly next to me, hunched on the floor next to me. I looked at him and just blinked, totally unaware anyone else had been on the porch. I felt the color crept to my face, feeling very foolish and childlike sitting crying on the front porch. "Becuase Dal....cus of something that happened at school today. Between me and Jeff." I whispered, my eyes fixed on a stray cat stridding down the chilly night street, praying he would be content with that answer. Should have known better, Dal was never content with ½ a story. He was looking at me expectantly, his hard eyes plainly telling me to go on. I took a deep breath and rushed head first into the story of how Jeff had found me after school, and our little fight, making sure to leave out the reason. Dallas known though. Something clouded his eyes and I know he'd been the cause of our fight, and because of that I was the cause of Johnny getting beat up. The thought made me sick, and a cold dread spread over my stomach. Dal reached slowly in his jeans pocket, pulling out a smoke and the sliver plated lighter I'd gotten him for his 13th birthday. (With a little help from Two-Bit and his main skill.) I watched my cousin, put the 'cancer stick' between his chapped lips, and take a slow drag on it. He had 'that look' to him again. The dangerous one, that everyone know better then to try to talk to him with. His blond hair fell across his eye, and the whole scene seemed to be something out of a movie. He looked like you classic hood, JD, juvenile delinquent, whatever you wanted to call it. I didn't like that, my cousin shouldn't have to wear that look at his age. He deserved a life better then this. All the gang did, more then any soc ever would.  
I felt to rough lips on my cheek and turned to look at Dal. He was walking down the sidewalk, thumbs locked into his pockets, shoulders hunch. I jumped to my feet, and fly down the sidewalk after him, grabbing his arm urgently. "Dallas, I know where your going. Don't. It won't do any good, it'd just gonna prolong it all. Come Dally, don't go!" My voice was pleading, and I sounded ages younger. "I have to go Lexa, I'll be back later, stay at the Curtis', and help take care of Johnny." He tried to pull away from my grip, and I guess was surprised at how strong his little cousin was. "Dally, I'm not afraid of trouble, or fighting for that matter. And I'm willing to fight if a fight is brought to me, but why go looking for it?" Dal put his right hand on my arm, and turned me to face him. His voice was cool, almost recorded sounding. "You wouldn't understand why I have to go Munchkin. But I have to do this. For you and for Johnny." He squeezed my arm lightly, and took off down the street again.   
I watched his receding back, and stood there my jaw clenched. So he'd finally done it. For the first time ever my cousin had left me, gone off to do something he know I didn't approve of. He was wrong when he said I wouldn't understand though, because I know why he had left and deep down i couldn't blame him. Dallas knew Becka was the reason Jeff had picked a fight with myself and then Johnny, and he couldn't take not meeting his problems head on.   
Which in short meant I'd be awake all night worrying about him, and he'll come stumbling in around 2am bloody and drunk excepting me to be ecstatic that'd he'd won some God awful fight. I love my cousin more then anything, but sometimes it's just to much. I closed my eyes, and meekly thought about how Scarlett O'Hara would handle it, hoping to find some sort of influence. The best I could come up with was squaring my shoulders, holding my head high and I wearily made my way back to the house to face burdens that weren't my own. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter six is now up, as you can tell. I only own Lexa and the pome, I'm very proud of that pome actually. If you take either of these thing I will hunt you down and force feed you live spiders. LOL! Thanx to everyone who reviewed my last 2 chapters ya'll rock! My goal is 50 reviews and it looks like i might get there! YAH! Ok here's the story, let me know what u think. After this chapter it's gonna get more interesting, a LOT more interesting...ooowww plot twists I love 'em! 0u+z....Daze  
  
  
  
  
  
I walk the few wearily feet to the Curtis house, silently praying Dallas would come home safely tonight. I ran a hand through my blond hair, and stopped at the foot of the steps. It was going to be a long night, sitting up nursing Johnny's wounds and waiting for my cousin, and I was tempted to just leave. Just start running down the streets, to somewhere no one would find me, letting Soda take care of Johnny, and Dal worry about himself. But I couldn't do that, these guys were my family, and I didn't leave family.  
I closed the door softly behind me, and look around at the boys in the living room. No one asked where Dallas had gone, they all know with one look at me. I closed my eyes remembering......  
. When I was 12 and in 7th grade, I'd written an article for the school newspaper about the division of the social class at our school. It had been a really good article, everyone said so. But the newspaper had rejected it, used some socs survey on best lip-stick brand instead. I was upset, I'd felt like crying. But I hadn't and as i retold the story to Two-Bit when we'd been walking home, pretending I hadn't cared the least bit, he hadn't said anything. The next day a copy of my story had appeared not only in my school's paper, but the high school newspaper also. And at the very bottom of my article a line had been added, "This is for you Lexa, bout time we get something worth reading. Faithfully Yours, Two-Bit Mathews". He'd gotten expelled for three days for his "little stunt" as our teachers had called it. But nothing anyone had done for me had ever meant more then what he did that day. And when I tried to thank him, he'd kissed my forehead, told me he didn't like seeing me get hurt (a famous line with the gang....) and that he wasn't going to let them walk all over me and make me feel worthless. When I questioned him about how he known it had bothered me he'd grinned as he replied, "Lexa, you can't hide what you feel, your eyes always give you away. You have such pretty eyes, but your emotions play openly in them." I still had the copies of the newspaper, the one Two-Bit and I had 'autographed" and one copy I'd had laminated. Two-Bit had a copy of it up on his bedroom wall to this very day. Sort of a symbol of just how far we'd go for each other.  
I'd found myself at the door to Johnny' room, unaware I had actually managed to walk back the hall while in my daydream. I opened the door, and found Soda gazing at the window from the chair I had been in. Johnny was laying so quietly on the bed I feared for a second he was dead, but looking closer at the slow rise an fall of his chest a feeling of great relief washed over me. I walked across the room, and touched Sodapop lightly on the shoulder, he jumped slightly. Upon seeing it was just me he grinned tiredly and lifted a clean shirt, and pair of blue jeans off his lap, offering them to me. "Help me get him changed." My voice was ragged, likely from the crying, and Soda nodded briefly. "Should we wake him?" Soda whispered in reply, standing slowly, and lifting the chair back into place. "Not if we can help it." I answered Figuring it would be better to let him sleep through the pain. Soda lifted Johnny's limp body slowly, holding him close to his chest. I'd never met a guy, especially in this neighborhood, who was more tender then Sodapop with any living thing. Trying not to wake Johnny, I lifted his shirt slowly over his head. It wasn't until I was about put Soda's old shirt on him that I actually looked at his chest. My breath caught in my throught, and tears blurred my vision. "Soda, lay him down for a second." I whispered, and Soda rested his body back on the bed. "Glory...." Soda, gasped seeing for the first time just how badly beaten Johnny was.   
Reaching out my right hand, my figure tips ran softly over a deep purple bruise located on Johnny's rib cage. "Poor baby..." I whispered into the air, running my fingers over the bruised skin. There were ones exactly identical all over his bronze tinted skin, and I wish with all my heart and soul I could kiss them all away. Snapping back to my senses, "Come on Soda, let's get something on him." With Soda's help I managed to get Johnny into clean clothes without him waking up. We both sat there for a while, talking in hushed tones about how awful Johnny look, and how we wished we could help him.   
After about five minutes Soda stood, yawning, ruffled my hair, and walked out of the room. 'He even walks cute.' I thought grinning slightly, watching his long slow stride. I reached into my purse, which was sitting next to me on the floor, and took out my diary. Turing to a clean page, I wrote in my dainty handwriting:  
  
There must be a place,  
Where no pain resides.  
A fantasy place,  
Where eyes do not cry.  
A place where skin is not torn and bruised,  
And children's weary minds are not abused.  
Where boys are not forced to be the man   
There fathers weren't.  
And the worth of a girl is not found merely beneath her skirt.  
A place where child can laugh and play,  
Instead of watching their lives thrown away.  
A place where the rich and the poor are as one,  
And young men are not broken on the expense of drunk fun.  
My eyes are wide open searching for this place,  
Driven by the look of defeat on your face.  
For I may stumble on me way,  
But this place WILL be our reality some day.  
  
I closed the red notebook, and looked down at Johnny. On impulse I lifted his shirt, exposing the battered skin. I traced over each bruise, as if trying to feel his pain, until a soft voice broke my thought. "I'm gonna be alright, Munchkin. Don't worry." I looked up at Johnny's swollen face, then lightly placed my lips on his bruised ribs, kissing his warm skin delicately. His hand found it's way onto the back of my head, and gently stroked my hair, until I rose up and smiled at him. "No one should ever have to go through what you've gone through in your life, Johnny Cade. Especially not you." I leaned close to his ear as I said this, and I could feel his breath on my face. I kissed his cheek softly, "Sleep, sweetheart. It'll all be better in the morning." I said as I stood to leave, but he grabbed my small hand in his shaking one. "Lex, do me a favor?" He asked meekly, and I nodded. "Don't let Dal do anything stupid." I shook my head slightly, tossing my hair from side to side, "He already has." I closed the door softly behind me as I left the room. 


	9. Chapter 9

Hey everybody! Chapter 9! Wooh! This is kinda a flashback scene kinda not, you'll have 2 read it 2 understand. Thanx to ElfPilot, Lousia, and ???? (who I will now call Bob, cuz I feel lke I'm an idoit everything I thank ???....lol, j/k j/k.) This chapter kinda shows a softer side of Dallas, and it's really sweet so everyone go "Awwwwwwhhhhhh", lol. This chapter and the next one are my favorites, so I hope u like 'emThe only things i own r Lexa, her Dad, and Keba (I really do own a white stuffed tiger named Keba,I got him at Toys R Us while 'shopping for my 3 year old cousin' which I ended up getting something instead of her.....oops...lol!)All I own in this story so far is Keba, Lexa, her diary, my peom *which needs a title *, Jeff Baker and Co., Rabbit Roofing shirt from chapter one (which I really do own.), everything else is S.E. Hinton's. Review! 0u+z, Daze  
  
  
  
  
Between the ages of three and five when i was still living with my father in New York I use to dream I was running through a field of blue wild flowers, giggling as my mother chasing after me. We'd both be running, and she'd finally catch up to me and take my hand in hers. I would smile up at her, and we'd start walking towards this red golden sunset. And few a very second everything seemed right in the world. Then suddenly the earth would open at our feet, and great flames of fire would inhale my mother, pulling my hand from hers. I would watch as she was drug in to the earth, and she would call my name, begging for help. But I couldn't move. I just stood there. Then she'd disappear below the surface and my father would be there next to me. He'd be yelling at me for not saving my mother, telling me it was all my fault. I'd cry reaching out for his hand, and he'd shove me roughly to the hard ground. I could feel the ground in my sleep. I'd awaken sobbing hysterically calling out for her. No one would answer those cries, no one even heard. My father would usually be out lord knows where with his friends doing lord knows what, coming home to his four year old daughter at ungodly hours of the morning, drink and swearing. My mother wasn't there either, but her reason was more excusable. She was 6 feet under the soft soil, in a hard pine coffin. Not exactly the easy place to take care of a little girl and a drunken abusive husband from.   
The dream use to scare me so bad I stopped sleeping. I figured if I didn't sleep the dream couldn't come, so I'd stay awake drawing pictures of the family i use to have. Eventually i got sick from the lack of sleep and found myself in the ICU of the local hospital. They had me so pumped up with medicines I couldn't help but sleep and the dream returned. I'd wake up screaming, and this nurse names Tina would come in and lay my head against her chest and hold me. I grow rather attached to her, and remember asking if she would come home and be my Mommy. She had laughed and told me she already had two little girls at home waiting for her. So i asked her if could come home with her, because I didn't want to go home. She told me I wouldn't have to worry about that. While I was there the staff found out about me being home alone all day, and the things my father did when he was home. So when I got out of the hospital 4 days later I'd gone to live with Dally and his parents.   
They're apartment was small, and I'd had to share a bedroom with Dallas who was seven at the time. The new home didn't keep the nightmare from coming, it was like my shadow looping silently behind me at all times. The first night while we laid in our beds Dallas had presented me with a stuffed white tiger, that was about a foot long, and had polished light blue eyes. "Lexa, this is Keba, he's my stuffed animal, but you can sleep with him tonight if you want. He'll keep you safe." Half way through the night I woke up crying, clutching Keba to me. Suddenly the coner of my bed had shifted under someone's weight and I could make out Dallas' face in the dim light. He didn't say a word, just wiped away the tear that were leaving cold paths on my cheeks, and kissed me on the for head. "Lexa, do you want me to lay with you?" my not-so-tough seven year old cousin had asked, his voice is a high whisper. I remember nodding fiercely, and scooting over to allow Dallas in next to me. He'd laid down, in his box car pajamas, and put a protective arm around me. 'Don't worry Alexa, I'm seven, that's grown up. And from now on I'm gonna take good care of you. So when you need something ask me ok? But try to sleep now, it's gonna be ok, trust me." He'd sounded so grown up, so sure that I couldn't help but believe him. Dally has always been tough even at a young age, and he'd always taken care of me. So I'd drifted off into a peaceful sleep, the first I'd had in a long time.  
It had been a long time since that night in the cold New York apartment, so many things had happened since then. So many things had changed. But one thing that had remind the same is that I still trusted Dallas that no matter what as long as he was there everything would be alright. My 'dream' had only come twice since that day so long ago, and each time Dallas had been there, no questions asked.   
But tonight the dream was different, and more terrifying. Dallas and I had been walking down the street kicking a bottle, the sun warm over head. At first it was a nice dream, a happy dream, but then suddenly the earth began to shake and tear apart at it's seems. I reached for Dallas' hand but he was gone, falling, falling, falling deep down inside the crack. I screamed out calling his name, and a hand grabbed mine. Terrified I turned to see Johnny next to me, a smile playing on his lips, then just as suddenly as he appear a blaze of fire out from the sky pulling him away. Then before me was my mother laughing and telling me this was all my fault, all of it. I woke up in a cold sweat, shaking my hand screeching the bed next to me for Dallas. And for a moment I couldn't find him, I couldn't feel anything but the cold mattress under my small fingers. "Dallas...." my voice broke at the end of his name and I felt the tears bubbling in my eyes. I wanted Dally...Had he come in yet? I looked around the room, surprised. Last thing I remember was sitting in the chair watching Johnny moan in his sleep. Now I was in Darry's bedroom, sleeping on his bed while he, I guessed, was on the couch. "Dallas?" I sat straight up in bed, my eyes scanning the darkened room. The at that moment the door opened noiselessly and a ray of light shone it. Dallas appeared before me, hair ruffled and eyes half closed with sleep. His eyes traveled to me, and snapped open. Closing the door quickly he was at my side.   
"Lexa, baby, what's wrong, are you alright?" His voice was soft and soothing, and for a second he seemed just like the seven year old back in New York. Young, with a child like innocents that was long gone by now. I throw my arms around him, proving to myself he was still there. "Dallas...Dallas..." I repeat softly as his hand travel in circles on my back, my tear dripping on to his neck. "Nightmare." It was more of a statement than a question, but I nodded softly anyways. I Pulled him tighter to me, and let the tears fall as I explained tiredly. "I was scared Dallas, when I woke up and I couldn't find you. I though...I thought I was back with my dad in New York....O Dally it was you this time in my dream, then Jonnhy, then Mama came and told me it was all my fault....But Dally it was you! I was so scared Dally .I was so scared....." I felt so stupid crying like this, I mean I'm 15 for God's sake., but I couldn't help it. The dream...Johnny.....Mama..... Dallas! "Shhhh....it's ok Lex It's ok. I was in the bathroom, I'm here now and I'm not going to leave you. Everything's ok. Lay down and try to sleep. I'm not going anywhere." His voice was soothing, and I obeyed. He laid down next to me, and I felt safe wrapped tightly in his arms. My sobs turned to hiccups and I listen as Dally's breath pattern letting me know he'd drifted off into sleep. I hugged Keba close to me with one arm and Dallas with the other. Closing my eyes I forced my self into a restless slumber. 


	10. Chapter 10

Ok this is my favorite chapter so far to write, so I really hope ya'll like it. I know I have Two-Bit acting a lil oOc (out of character) but o well, ur gonna have 2 deal with it. *grin * I own the same stuff i did in the last chapter, plus that ally.. Everything else belongs 2 Mrs. S.E. Hinton *round of applause * I don't have ch. 11 written yet, but i'm working on it so it might be a few days b4 I update. And ya'll, if your reading the story, please review it, cuz i'm kinda interested in how many people ACTUALLTY are reading this. (cuz I know some ppl read without reviewing *everyone gasps * I know i know it's awful, but there are some people how do it. * shakes head* Hehe, thanx 2 Elf Pilot and The Questionable Bob (aka ????, hehe get it "?= question + bob= Questionable Bob...") for actually being god readers and reviewing *gives them cookies *, ya'll are 2 great! If anyone has any suggestions on my story, things I could do better, (things you wanna se happen, people you want more of) drop me a line and let me know. Wow that was long, anyways here's chapter 10, read it, review it, suggest it to friends (even people you don't know...). Much love! 0u+z, Daze (on and I kinda stole the I have dream part from Dr. Martin Luther King, cuz I wrote this on MLK day while driving down MLK Boulevard, so ya know. So don't sure me for that either.)  
  
  
D, Third Entry Nov. 13   
  
Money. Everyone wants it. Those who have it flaunt it, spending it on cars they don't need, art they don't even look at, whisky they shouldn't drink. It makes them do stupid, and spiteful things to people because, hell they can get away with it. Those without money long for it, go about each day with shoes that bear holes, clothes sizes to small, cars with no breaks. But sooner or later we all become bitter. Socs because they realize their money can't buy them happiness, only substituted for it. And us greasers, because we've gone so long living on the streets, being treated like dirt because we have less then others. The world would be a better place without money to separate us. If a person was treated by character, not dollar amount we (me and the gang) would be rich. I have a dream that one day, I'll live in a place where everyone judged on the content of their character, not the color of their skin or money in their pocket.  
  
Johnny got beat up pretty bad yesterday by some socs. it hurt me to even look at him. Dal got pretty upset, stormed off, looking for a fight (which he found). Johnny and I (and Dal when he came in) stayed at the Curtis' last night. I was up till about 3 am just sitting by Johnny, and holding his hand. He was real shook up, and he had every right to be. I don't see how one person could go through so much pain in just 16 years. I must have fallen asleep round 3:30am, cuz when I woke up (I had one of my famous night mares.), I was in Darry's bed. Dal musta stumbled in sometime before then, cuz he was there when I woke up. I didn't see him till this morning.   
  
* Flashback/ 1st person out of Diary context*  
  
"Dal I really hope you lost that fight." Steve was in the middle of his sentence as i stumbled into the kitchen still in my clothes from yesterday. Dal light a smoke, and shot Steve a look. "Why's that?" Soda grinned wildly and cut Steve off. "Cuz if you won I'd hate to see what they guy who lost looks like." He ducked a 'blow' Dal throw at him, and feel to the floor laughing. I shook my head teasingly and looked over at my cousin. His left eye was blacked and he had a split lip, but compared to Johnny he looked fine. "Aw, Lex don't start." He mumbled, catching my eyes. I just shook my head and sat down, slicing through a piece of chocolate cake the Curtis brother was famous for. It was sweet, to sweet. A grin played on my lips. 'Soda made it.'  
  
* End flashback/ Back 2 Diray entry*  
  
Johnny's a little better now. He can sit up with out wincing at least, Dal's sitting with him while I write. There's always someone in the room with Johnnycake, one of the gangs always glued in the chair next to him. (Except when Two-Bit's in there, the he's doing back-flips off the bed.) I guess we just wanna make sure we're there for him from now on. This wasn't a very good entry and I'm sorry, but i can't seem to focus. I'll write more later.   
  
Always, Lexa  
  
I closed my notebook, dropping it lazily on the floor beside me. I heard the screen door open, the swing shut, closing with a 'pop'. A hand found it's way to my shoulder, and his breath was warm as he whispered, "Come on, I'm getting you outta here. You need break." Before I had the time to object I found myself slung over Two-Bits shoulder, bouncing violently as he hopped down the steps. My stomach plunged into my throat, and I held on to Two-Bit tightly. "Keith Mathews, let me down now." I scolded calmly. I should have learned a long time ago, not to be so frank with Two-Bit, because a minute later I was on the ground with a very sore behind. "Such a gentleman." I rolled my eyes, ignored Two-it's out stretched hand, and got to my feet. "So what do you wanna do?" I stared at Two-bit blankly, then managed to stammer. "You mean you kidnapped me off the Curtis' porch, made me want to hurl, and dropped me on my ass and have no clue what for?" Two-Bit nodded earnestly, and I pinched his left cheek like those old hags do. "Such a gentleman." I gave a violent tug on his plumb cheek then took off down the sidewalk.   
I hadn't even gone four steps before, I was pulled to a stop. "Lexa, what's wrong?" Two-bit's voice was calm and steady, and I couldn't help but look at him. We stood there for a second just looking at each other. Lost in the others eyes. Big mistake. I should have known better then to let him see my eyes. His eye bore into mine, as if pulling all the information they could from them.  
  
."Grease!!" and suddenly empty coke bottle landed on the pavement a few inches from me. It shattered on impact sending tiny bits of clear glass in a zillion different directions. I looked up just in time to see a blue Mustang speed down the street, but the word lingered in the air long after the car had driven outta site. Two-Bit swore under his breath making some smart remark about beating the tar outta the socs. It didn't make much difference what he said, nothing was gonna change anything. He knew that just as well as I did, but he went on calling 'em every impolite name he could think of.   
  
"Awww, shut your trap already. Ain't nothing you say gonna change anything." The words came outta my mouth before I had time to think about 'em, and upon realizing what I'd said guilt tore at my stomach. He silenced and turned his head away from me, and I could tell I'd hurt is feelings a little bit. Aw, glory, this is the last thing I wanted. I grabbed his arm, and pulled him towards me, rambling in one breath I started "Two-Bit I'm sorry hadn't meant to say that, it's just a girl can only take getting called filth so many time before she just sorta.....snaps. I didn't...." The last part of the sentence was cut off by a pair of smooth lips on mine and a hand going softly through my hair. We'd kissed so many times before, but this....this wasn't like the others. The others were passionate, provoked with a sexual hunger. This kissed was caused by something different, something more gentle and pure then lust. It was a soft kiss, gentle with a different soft of longing. And to be honest it...it scared me.  
  
I pulled back hastily, staring crazily at my rusty side-burned friend of 8 years. His eyes were as huge as tea-cups, and there was something showing in them that hadn't been there before. Pride? Satisfaction? Love? No, it couldn't but, I must be mistaken. "Where the hell did that come from? And why haven't you done that before?" I asked when breath returned into my lungs. And then he did I thing I never except to see Keith 'Two-Bit" Matthew's do in his life, he blushed. I laughed, I wasn't really sure what else to do. I shifted uneasily in the piercing silence that followed my laughter, Two-Bit grinned unstably. This was the first time we'd ever done anything and felt uneasy about it, and this was the most pure experience we'd very taken place in.   
  
Two-Bit was the first to break the loud quite, with his usual wise crack. "Now I can honestly say I've left a girl speechless from a simple kiss." I gave him a half hearted grin, and watched as two boys rode by on their bikes. Blue bikes with sparkling fresh paint, that I was positive weren't obtained the legal way. I ducked my head, when they sent me wary glares, letting me know to advert my eyes. Guys get real uppity when they know you've caught them doing something they shouldn't, and in a neighborhood were switch-blades were as common as shoes (maybe sometime even more,) it was safe not to get involved.  
  
"That was anything but a simple kiss Two-Bit, and there's no way you can tell me anything different." I said this smugly, with more confidence then I actually possessed. I reached out and grabbed his arm pulling him into a side ally, between two larger brick buildings. The sun was dimmer there, shinning just enough to give his hair a golden gleam. For the first time I started to see Two-Bit as other girls had seen him before. Firm build, tanned skin, soft pink lips. Those lips..... "Why did you kiss me like that. I mean I could come to a conclusion on my own, but I want to hear it from you." His eyes were focused on a hole in his sneakers, as if it was the first time he'd ever seen it. This made me uneasy, Two-Bit never acted this way around me. We had too unique of a relationship to act that way. He could tell me he'd bedded four girls the night before not batting an eyeball, but it was seeming to take all the courage he could muster to explain what that kiss had meant. "I think I'm falling in love, Lexa." His voice was soft, and I leaned in to hear him. Ok so he was in love with some girl, and it meant he didn't want to fool around anymore. I could handle that, after a while at least. "That's great, hun! With who?" He started at me as if I'd just asked which came first the chicken or the egg. A bored, blank expression that was starting to annoy me. He took a deep breath, and in one gasp he spat out. "You."   
  
I've never been hit so hard that the breath has left my body. But when Two_Bit spoke those words, I thought I'd never breath again. HE....WAS....IN...LOVE....WITH....ME! I slumped against the cold brick wall, trying to get my thoughts to focus. I'd thought about it before, but never had I imaged it was true. And to hear his actually say it did something to me. But to know I didn't feel the same, or letting myself believe I didn't feel the same, tore me apart I slid down the wall, until i was sitting on the cold dirt, Two-Bit next to me. "Lex, you gonna say something? I mean I just kinda confessed something really embarrassing here, and your like blanked out. It would help if you like breathed or something." I grinned, and cleared my throat once. Twice. Make that three times before I was actually able to speak. "Your not serious right? I mean, you've never acted like....." Two callused fingers on my lips ended my sentence.  
  
"Lexa, I'm 2 and ½ years older then you, 30 months to be exact. And I've watched your grow from a miniature version of Dallas, who did exactly what he told you to do. Into a beautiful, warm girl.....young woman who can make her own choices. And The more I watch you, the more I want to be with you. I love everything about you, the way you walk, the way you laugh, the way you smile, the way you think, the way you make me feel like there's something out there worth living for. It's taken me to long to say this, but I love you Lexa." He gasped for breath at the end of his sentence, and I half giggled at how fast he'd said all that. But I'd understood every word. He was in love with me. The thought was getting easier to deal with.   
  
"I'm kinda hopping you'll slap me or something, just to get me off the hook here." Two-Bit mumbled, tossing a rock through a broken window across the slim ally. I couldn't say anything, to be honest I didn't know what to say. It's not everyday your best friend tells you he'd in love with you, at least not usually. I opened my mouth, trying to from words that wouldn't come, and finally I gave into defeat. The smile on my friends lips faded, the disappeared all together. "So Lexa how about it. You feel even close to the same?" I tried to tell I did, that I did love him. But I couldn't bring myself to. Yes, I loved Two-Bit Mathews ,more then anything. But never had I let myself think of him as anything more then a good friend, that I...ummm....experimented with. "You do don't you? You love me." Blasted tell all eyes, I couldn't let him think I did. Even if it was true. I couldn't actually admit the truth. "Your so full of yourself, but your wrong this time Mr. Mathews." His head span towards me and his eyes were huge, "It's in your eyes Lex." He said stubbornly, and I had no doubt it was. "What are you afraid of Lexa? If it's rejection, you won't get it." Two-Bit questioned me smugly, and I looked away. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't let myself love him, it would only hurt him in the end. "Okay Lexa. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel the same, and I'll shut up." I couldn't do this...but I had to......  
  
He turned my face so that our eyes met, and I closed mine hastily knowing he'd see the truth in them. "I don't love you Two-Bit." I stammered, my stomach cramping. It was a lie, an awful lie. "Open you eyes, Alexa. And then say it." His voice was cold, daring even. He deserved to know the truth, even if it killed me for him to. I opened my eyes slowly, forcing myself to directed my gaze to his. "I...I don't love you Two-Bit." His eyes darted back and forth between mine, as if trying to look into both of my eyes at once.  
  
His hand dropped from my face, and his face was set as if in stone as he assured me he'd found his answer. "Your eyes are beautiful, Lex. But you should learn to control them. I see the truth in them, and I can't understand how you could lie about something like this. If you wanted to get back at me for something by hurting me, you just did a good job." And with that he jumped to his feet and raced out of the dim ally. I tried to call after him, beg him to come back. But tears stopped my words in my throat. I closed my eyes, leaning back against the wall biting my lip to keep the tears back. I had just done the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I'd lied to my best friend, playing games with his heart, and he knew it. He didn't understand but he know. He could never understand. I need someone to hold me and tell me it was all gonna be ok in the morning. It wouldn't hurt so much then. Like I'd told Johnny, only half believing them myself. But I'd done this to myself, and now I was left alone to cope with the consequence of my actions. But I had my reasons, and as honorable as the were it hurt like hell. 


	11. Chapter 11

Hey! Chapter 11...woot woot (lol, yeah I'm hyper)!! I wanna thank everyone who review chapter 10, ElfPilot, Rockabye, MaverickGirl, Ya'll are so great! Heaven, I was wondering if I could use you in a comeo in my next chapter (please say yes, PLEASE PLEASE...). LOL! Newho, here's ch. 11, and I hope you like it. Chaptrer 12 is when things get interesting, so please just bear with me. Out ~ Daze  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The short walk from the damp ally back to the Curtis' house was walked in a daze. My feet moved, and I managed to make it there safely, but how in the world I managed is a mystery. Guilt tore at my heart, feeling as if it had clamped down on it making it work twice as hard, the thudding aching in my chest. I had hurt my best friend in one of the worst ways possible, all because I could admit to myself i loved him. No that was wrong, I know I loved him, I'd known since our first kiss, I just hadn't let myself believe for reasons of my own. I couldn't let him, for his sake. "I won't think of it now, I'll wait till I'm at the Curtis', where I can bear it.' Another thought crepe inside my mind. I was acting just like the twits in my neighborhood, and I hated it.   
  
I stumbled in the door, feeling as if I was on the verge of fainting or throwing up or something. The urge to run return a thousand times stronger then it had been the day before. But I couldn't run today, because yesterday I known I'd come back, and today if I started I wasn't sure if I was capable of stopping. I closed the door tightly behind me, surprised by the unusually quite house. Soda and Steve were sitting around a folding card table playing poker (both cheating profoundly.) and Pony was sitting on the couch nose deep inside some book. Darry was at work, Darry was always at work. I walked over behind Soda, watching as he drooped a card from his sleeve , supplying himself with a full house. "You cheat!" Steve hissed, laying down five dollars before his best friend. "I wouldn't be talking Steve that's a nice ace in your pocket." Soda retorted happily, collecting his winnings from the table. I any other time I would have laugh at the two of theirs antics but today I couldn't.  
  
I stumbled back the hall, biting my lip to keep from crying. I couldn't believe what I'd just done, it hurt to accept it was truth. I pushed open the door to the room Johnny had been staying in, expecting to see Dal in the chair talking up a storm about how he'd stomped Jeff, but only Johnny was there. His back was to me, and I wasn't sure if he was awake. I made my way quietly next to the bed, careful not to wake him if he was truly asleep. I jumped back a little when he rolled over suddenly eyes, wide open. "I..I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry Johnny." I tugged at a lose string in my shirt, careful not to look him in the eye and give myself away instantly. "Don't worry about it, I was up anyway. What's wrong, Munchkin?" My head snapped up instantly, and I wonder how in the world he'd guessed something was wrong this fast couldn't tell him. I mean he'd understand and all, but i couldn't tell him. "Just tired. Mind if I lay with ya for a while?" He slid over and lifted the cover, allowing me to slide in next to him. I moved close to him, and for a second he tensed. Johnny was always awkward around girls, even me, so this didn't surprise me in the least. He relaxed gradually, draping a arm around my waist. "So how ya feeling, Johnnycake?" I asked, my left hand going to his rib cage automatically. He looked a little better, and he'd stopped whimpering, and I was extremely glad for that. "alright i guess, I'm still kinda soar. Dal found the socs. Stomped them pretty good he says." I nodded weakly letting him know that i already knew. "I'm glad. I wanted to kill them, but I'm glad he found them first. Now when i go after them, they'll already be to beat up to fight." I cracked the half hearted joke, hoping to get Johnny to grin. He did, and it made me feel a little better.  
It felt good to be close to someone after the incident in the ally, and I laid my head on Johnny's chest. "Mind if I take a nap?" I asked yawing, hoping that in my sleep I'd be able to figure things out. "Naw." I didn't even wait for his answer, I fell asleep listening to the soft thumping of Johnny's heart.  
  
  
I I didn't see Two-Bit at all that day Or most of the next day for that matter. He didn't come back to the Curtis' and my guess was he either was drunk beyond belief or he's gone to his house (for once). Either way I knew he was avoiding me, and I couldn't blame him. I would be avoding me to, in fact i think I kinda was. I'd tried my best to keep from thinking, and due to this the Curtis' had a clean bathroom, kitchen, livingr room, and at the moment I was fighting my way the mess in Pony and Soda's room. I was going through clothes that were thrown about the floor, trying to figure out what was clean and what wasn't. Or at least what smelt clean. I grabbed a pair of boxers, the were crusted in something white. It took a min for it to dawn on my what the substance was, and when I did they found the way back to the floor. That was just nasty. I pushed myself up off teh floor, and carefully stepped over mounds of clothes on my way to the door. I was officially done with cleaning that room, considering there was no telling what I midget step in. I walked out to the living room and found Johnny sitting on the couch watching some sappy sitcom. It had been two days since he'd got beat up, and the swelling in his face had gone done , but the bruises were still there. Dal had made him self personally responsible for taking care of him, taking care of his cuts and everything. I think Dallas felt guilty, and this was his way of making up for it. "everybody go off and leave you here?" I seated myself next to him on the broken down coach, and drew my knees to my chest. Wrapping my arms around them. "They're outside playing football. Dar came home a lil while ago, and I think Two-Bit wander over too." He answer quietly, switching through the channels before turning it off. I swolled hard, and hugged my knees tighter to me. Chewing slightly on my bottom lip, my nervesous habit, I grabbed Johnny's hand pulling him up with me. "Let's go watch 'em. Some fresh air'll do you good." I wanted to see Two-Bit and get all awarkward feeling aside before it ruined our friendship. So Johnny and I made our way outside in time to see Pony intercept teh ball, then be tackle to the ground rather roughly by Steve. Too roughly. Steve didn't like his best friend's little brother very much, and it was plain to see to everyone except Soda. I think Soda knew it too, he just ignored it. He lived in this kinda world that if you ignored it, it goes away sometimes. I think we all did.  
"Ay, Lexa!" Ponyboy hollered as I walked closer, waving me towards them. I did my best not to look at Two-Bit, knowing he wouldn't make eye contact. Him looking away would be more then i could take. I plastered a smile on my lips and jogged over to Pony. "Which team am I on?" I took the rubber band/ hair tie from around my wrist and pulled my hair into a sloppy bun. I knew I looked like such a tomboy. Blue jeans with holes in both knees, and a old blue tee shirt. I couldn't se how Two-Bit saw anything in me I'm no Marilyn Monroe, even I knew that. And I wasn't exactly the modle of femine-ness. (if that's even a word) I mean take this for example I'm playing tackle football with a buncha guys. Or well trying to. "Lexa, I dunno if you should play...." Darry was the one who said this, and I turned to him with a bored expression. We went through this every time, and by now I would think he'd just give up on it. "Dar, it's ok with Dally if I play. And if I get hurt, it's my own damn fault." Darry wasn't gonna give up that easy. "But Lexa with your knee and all..." I rolled my eyes, he always had to bring that up.  
When I was 13 years old I'd been on a ladder helping the Curtis put up Christmas lights. Our brilliant friend Mr. Steve Randle hadn't been paying attition to what he was doing, and had managed to knock the ladder over, with me on it. I'd landed on my right knee really funny, and had popped it outta place, causing us all to take a trip to the ER. I'd had to use crutches for two-months and Steve had been my personal slave. All and all it wasn't the worst thing that had happened to me, but my knee still hurt once in a while.   
"Dar, you konw perfectly well my knees fine. I mean I run track on it don't I?" Darry gave me a stren look, letting me know that he wasn't giving in, It really stunk, cuz even tough he wasn't related to me he was teh oldest and what he said pretty much stuck with the gang. I looked at Dally for help, but it wasn't him that came to my rescue. "Darry, let her play. We're wasting time, cuz you know your gonna give in and let her play anyways, after she gives you that puppy dog look." I looked words lessly at Two-Bit, not believing he'd taken my side. Our eyes met, and he grinned half-heartedly as Darry gave in. "Oh alright, just be careful k?" I nodded, taking my place between Two-bit and Pony. "Hey Two-Bit?" He looked over at me, his face expressionless. "Thanks." He didn't even grin.  
  
  
  
  
"Steve, I've come to the conclusion, you need to stay away from me. Everytime you come near me I get hurt." I pressed the towle wraped ice to my knee as I said this, sending Steve a teasing glance. So Darry was right, as usual, I'd ended up getting hurt. But it wasn't really my fault, it's hard to concantrat when one of your best friends won't even look at you. "It's not my fault you ran into me." Was the answer I recived from an over cocky Steve. Ok, so maybe I had ran into him, but ya know that wasn't my fault either. Much. " And it's not my fault your accident prone." I grinned innocently causing the guys to chuckle. Steve chucked a pillow at me, and i ducked letting it hit the wall behind me. For a moment everything felt right, like the past three days hadn't even taken place. The guys were all laughing and joking, and I smiled sheepishly.   
But reality always has a way of kicking you just when you think your up..... 


	12. Chapter 12

Hey everybody! This is the chapter you've been waiting for...something interesting FINALLY happens! YEA! LOL! I wanna thanx everybody who reviewed my last chapter. ??? (BOB), Roxy, angelchild, MaverickGirl, ElfPilot(OL I probably spelt it wrong, but it's where u use someone in your story or movie or something that's a real person and the make like a guest appearance. LOL, if your interested I will definitely use you as a cameo), and Rockabye (lol, I used YOU in this chapter, I hope you don't mind..I tried 2 ask but you didn't answer...so hehe,,...lol think of it as free advertising. But if you reallyhave a problem with it I'll take the chapter down, take you out and repost it.....:-)..and something BIG is happening like...rite..NOW.) EVERYBODY CHECK OUT ROCKABYE'S STORY Life as a Greaser By Heaven L Marquin, CUZ IT'S REALLY GOOD! Oh and ya'll I have another story I just posted a while ago called Tears Over Tulsa, I liked writing it, so I really hope ya'll will check it out. (the song I used in it was Cry by Mandy Moore, and Lexa and a guest apperence in it a lil...so YEA!) Newho I'll let ya'll read the chapter, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!! Wow...I'm on a sugar rush...sorry about all that. Hehe.... God Bless and Lata ~ {DaZe}  
  
  
  
  
I'd been hoping things would return to normal by the next Monday, but they hadn't. It was pretty awful day. And to top it off I'd have to walk through soc territory alone on my way back to the Curtis. Two-Bit was avoiding me, Johnny didn't go to school because he was still pretty outta it, Dal had date, and Pony had track. I shoulda been at track, but the coach had taken one look at my swollen knee, and sent me home. "Can't risk losing you Lexa, go home and rest up the knee." Had been his exact words when he'd seen me stumbling out the door to lunch. Soda musta guess something was off between me and, because he'd offered to sneak away and drive me home. Soda had a way with telling when things were wrong with anyone in the gang especially me. But I'd smiled gratefully, and promptly refused. "Sodapop, you don't need to be missing work cuz a me, I'm a big girl. I can walk home." So there I was, walking alone in may I add the pouring rain through soc territory .The rain pelted off my books, and I was glad I'd listened ad put covers on them. I didn't have the money to be replacing some 75 dollar book. This wasn't fun. Not in the least bit. I kept my head down, miserable that my already soak hair was sendin cold shivers down my spin.  
  
"Lexa wait up!" A voice called from behind me, and I squinted to try to make out who it was between the sheets of rain. I tensed for a second, dreading that it might be some soc out to give a greaser gal a hard time. A figure came into view, and I exhaled relived. "Hey Heaven! Lovely weather we're having huh?" This was said sarcastically as i wiped the dripping water from the tip of my nose. Heaven had just moved to Tulsa from...get this...Hawaii, not very long ago, and was still trying to find exactly where she fit in. I guess everyone calling her a 'Greasy Soc' didn't help matters much. I didn't see anything wrong with her personally, and she was one of the few gal friends i had. She bummbed around with the gang sometimes, and I wasn't sure if she know or not (though it was quit odvice) Pony had a lil 'thing' for her. Ok I take that back...a Big thing...but we'll get to that later . She grinned half-heartedly at my joke, and i think we both realized at the same time how stupid it was to be standing in the middle of the road while it was pouring. "I just wanted to tell you I heard about Johnny, and i wanted you tell him I hope he's feeling better. It's awful that it happened to him." She had to yell to be heard over the thudding of the rain, and I nodded in reply. "I'll tell him. Anyways I gotta run Heaven. I'll talk to you later alright?" we said our goodbyes briefly, and she offered me a ride in her 'sister' angles car (which I politely refused, because I didn't feel like admitting that I had no other way to get home, even to Heaven.). I watched as she jumped into the car, and returned her wave as she drove by. I silently cursed my stupid pride, and the chilling rain that feel from the sky.  
  
' Well I bet Pony's track practice is canceled....maybe I sholda waited for him...naw Two_Bit will probably give him a ride home. Forget this I'm walking to the DX, I'll wait there until this rain thins out.' My socks were seeping wet, and I don't think I've ever felt anything more uncomfortable than wet socks. This was really not fun. Really. Through the haze of rain I could barley make out a pair of bright headlight driving towards me at a unusually slow speed. I didn't think anything of it at first, I mean lots of people go slow during hard rain. But most people don't stop. "Oh God." My breath caught in my through, and I hurried my steps. Through the rain I could make out the blue tint to the Mustange, and through the water splatter windshield I saw the smirking faces of Jeff, and his henchmen. My heart speed up. I know Dal shouldn't have gone after them, I know it. The car door opened, and Jeff emerged. I kept walking, praying they'd leave me alone. Thought of how Johnny had looked, and still looked ran royg my head, along with the thought of what else Socs did to grease gal when we got jumped. I gulped. I wouldn't let that happen. "Hey Lexa. Seems your cosign thought he had a score to settle, and you know how I don't like to be one upped. Especially by trash like that cousin of your. Dumb hood." They were all standing in the rain now, and I counted them quickly. 5. I didn't have a chance. If it had just been Jeff I could have held my own, but 5 socs. I had to run, I didn't have any other choice. But my legs wouldn't move. Oh my God, I couldn't get my legs to move.   
  
They were coming towards me now, slowly grinning. The rain slowed to an drip, reminding me of a leaky faucet. I finally was able to stagger forward, right into the arms of a tall boy with blond hair, and cold eyes. "Where do you think your going, Greasy?" I recognized him. His name was Bob something.. Something that started with an 'S'. I jerk violently in his arms, but his grip was to tight. They were all around me now, I could hear them breathing, that's how close they were. Or maybe it was my own breathing. "We thought you'd get the hint with that dark headed kid...the little shit. God was he an easy target. He was already half licked when we got to him. What does his dad beat him or something?" They all found this funny, for some inhuman reason, and anger tore at my heart. Johnny...they were talking about my Johnny. "Don't you dare talk about Johnny like that. You don't know anything about him. And you shouldn't have touched him in the first place, this was between me, you and Dallas. Johnny had nothing to do with anything." I was mad, and I could have torn Jeff apart if I would have been able to get a hand free. But I couldn't, and I started to wonder if this was gonna be the end. Jeff grinned wildly. "Your right, Winston. This does have to do with you, and now...now we're gonna settle the score."  
  
Something hit me hard on the back of my head and suddenly I was on the ground, and sharp kicks were meeting my ribs, and back, and chest every second. I cried out, for it hurt like nothing I'd ever felt before, and I tried to cover my head. But it was useless I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. I could barley think. "Stop....Stop, leave me alone!" My voice was higher then usual, and tears streamed down my cheeks I tasted something tangy with copper in my mouth, and was horrified at the realization it was blood. They're laughter rang sourly in my ears, and I saw Jeff drop to his knees from th conor of my eyes. Suddenly the kicking stop, and Jeff was above me. I felt something cold and metallic pressing into my side, and I was wondering dazedly if it was a blade. "Look at me you filth." I couldn't, I couldn't even turn my head. It felt as if every bone in my body was shatter into thousands of pieces. His hands were rough as he grabbed my face, jerking my neck quickly so our eyes met. "This is between you and me." His lips found mine hastily, and I crawled at his back, beating at it, trying to get him to leave me alone. My body hurt so bad...so damn bad. His hands wander over my body, and his lips traveled down my neck. I yelled out calling for anyone. Praying someone would walk by, and care enough to help. I wanted Dallas, Two-Bit, Soda, Johnny...anyone...I wanted the pain to go away. His lips even hurt...but not physically, mentally. "Leave me alone...please....just leave me alone..." my plea no more then a whisper, and I heard snicker from above me. I couldn't see anything but red. The color red took over every sense, every emotion. I FELT red....and it scared me. I heard my shirt rip, and I could feel the cool slow trickle of rain on my bare skin. I wanted him to stop...I didn't want it to be like this. I kicked my legs widely, and the were instantly held down by two of the henchman. Jeffs. Hands were working on my zipper, and I cried out.   
  
Suddenly I heard wild yells, shouts, and the stomping of feet. They kicked me a few more times before they steps faded dying into the roar of an engine, and another set approach. The stopped next to me, but I was barley aware. I felt myself being pulled into someone arms, and I fought to get away. I struggled against them. Not caring who it was, just not want to be touched. The owner of the arms said something, bt I was to dazed to make it out. The arms picked me up, and a shrill yelp came from somewhere. It might have been from me I couldn't tell...I didn't care. I want them to leave me alone. Suddenly the rain stopped , and I heard it as a drip on tin. I was faintly aware I was in a car. Someone was holding me close to them, running a hand up and down my arm, and i heard voices around em but the words I couldn't make out. I knew these arms, and suddenly it was clear to me. I knew where I was, and I knew i was safe. My body throbbed, and I felt dirty everywhere Jeff had touched me. I heard voices, and tried frantically to decided who they belonged to.   
  
One voice stood out, calm and soothing above the rest. "Sodapop?" I asked meekly, as a tear trickled down my cheek. I tried to open my eyes, and when a blot of pain shot through my head I gave up. The voice was soft and gentle as he replied, "Yeah, baby it's me. It's ok now, Lexabug. I'm here, your gonna be ok, honey." I laid my head on his shoulder, and tried to stop shaking. I couldn't breath, my breath was coming in short, quick gasps, and I couldn't caught my breath. "Soda..I...I..can't breath..I can't breath.." I was wheezing and shaking so bad I didn't see how I was still alive. Soda pulled me closer, and rocked me slightly. "Breathe Lexabug, relax and breathe. It's ok now...just relax. " You get weird thoughts when you think you life is over. The last thoughts that went through my head before the black haze took over was 'Sheldon, that's his last name. That woulda bugged me all day. I wonder if tracked got cancel. What's Dal gonna say. I wish Two-Bit was here, maybe he is. Soda's so warm. I'm gonna need a new shirt.' I gasped a few times before finally slipping way from the pain into unconsienceness. 


	13. Chapter 13

hey everyone! I'm really sorry it's taken me so long 2 update but my computers a crackoholic and won't work..*pouts*. So i'm using notepad, and it doesn't ahve spell check which sucks cuz i can't spell..not cool. Newho ya'll please review cuz if no one really likes this other then my 4 reviewers who alwasy review I'm not gonna waste everyones time by postin'..so ya'll let  
me known what u think, alright! Thanks 2 everyone who has reviewed any pf my chapters, ya'll rock. Here's CH.13  
The pain came back to me, as I slowly rolled back into conscieness. My head throbbed, like someone was squeezing it from the outside, and at the same time ppounding it out with a hammer from the inside. It was worse then any migran I'd ever experienced, and I didn't think there was possibaly enough aspirin in all the world to subside it. Then suddenly I became aware of the rest of my body. My stomach, ribs, back, everything thing the could possibally hurt....hurt. I rolled to my side (qickly deciding against rolling again.), and doubled over in pain. I felt a hand on my back, rubbing up and down lightly, with the lack of pressure most would have appiled. And instantly I know who was sitting with me...where ever I was. With my eyes closed, red spots shot zig zagging from left to right, as if dancing in my eyelids. I bit my lips trying to surpress a maon, but it was impossiable. "Shhhh..it's ok baby. I know it hurts Munchkin, but everything gonna be alright now." The voice was gentle, no louder then the winds whisper through tree on a fall day, but it offered a world of comferate.   
  
"Johnny, it hurts so bad." I didn't even try to blink back the tears that were spilling out of my eyes, it would have been a effort made in vain. But more instance and throbbing then pain, was my fear. I was terrified of what had happen, scared witless. "I couldn't see them coming at first becuase of the rain. Then they were all around me. The guy named Bob Sheldon from school, he held me and i tried to get away really I did. Then they knock me down, and started kicking at me, Johnny. It felt like a thousand knives all over my body.Then...." My voice trailed off and broke in a sudden sob. The memory of Jeff touching me, kissing my skin...it was to much. I felt tained, ruined. If it had been any of the other guys, they would have gathered me in their arms, and hush my cries, then refused to let me go on with my story. But Johnny had lived this. He know the only way to stop the tears was to let them run. He reached out a warm hand and lightly started runing it slowly over my blond hair. It was about three minutes before i found my voice, and shakily I told him about how Jeff had touched me. His eyes went wide, and for the first time since i met Johnny Cade there was anger in them. Not even when he parents beat him did his eyes blaze like this. No then they were just sad and broken, round shells of nothing. I can't stand seeing that look in his eyes – eveyone else's woulda been fien, just not Johnny Cade's.  
  
"How long have I been...a...sleeping?" I lifted a haking hand, and wiped dry my cheeks the best i could manage. Johnny grinned slightly, osing the look he'd held a few seconds before. "Just long enough to gain the nickname Sleepin' Beauty from Steve. About 2 hours. We were starting to wonder if we should take you t'the hospital. Dal's really mad, soon as he saw ya he wanted to go out and beat the tar outta Jeff. Two-Bit and Darry had to hold him back, till he calmed down enough to think." I opened my mouth to question how Dal had known who it was then closed it shortly. I didn't even have to ask. But there was something I wanted to know. "Johnny who found me? I mean I remember getting picked up and put in the car but I couldn't tell who it was." My head was pounding and each word was extermly carfully spoken. He ran a bronze hand though his black hair, which was falling in whisps into his eyes.   
  
"Two-Bit had headed over to the DX after school, and when he showed up without you steve and Soda chewed him out. Guess they couldn't believe he'd leave the girl he lo—the girl who's his best friends out in the pouring rain. So as soon as they got off their shift they picked Pony up at the school, track was cancled by the way, and were heading back hoping to find ya. And I guess it's a good thing they did. Two-Bit's really torn up, he thinking it's his fault. Anyways..." Something clicked in my head then, and I blurted quickly, "You know about Two-Bit lov...ummm...loving me?" I started to wonder if it had been obesive to everyone except me. Or maybe it was just Johnny who picked up on things everyone else over looked. He was blushing now, and I grinned slightly. "Johnny, how long have you known?" I was curious just who blind I truly was, had I not noticed this for months. "I dunno Ally, I mean..." i gave him one of 'those' looks that I was famouse for. The 'stop stalling and tell me what you know.' One that usually worked on everyone except Darry. He cleared his throat and figetted nervously, and I was once againg aware of my throbbing head. "About 3 years." If my whole body hadn't feel like a ton of lead I would have jumped out of my skin that very moment. Three years! My head kept screaming over and over, and if you never experienced a screaming head that felt like it was bein hammered, your lucky. Three years ago...our first kiss. I burried my head in the pillow, this was way to much information to be digestion all at once. "Am I the only blind one?" I really wasn't expecing an answer, and his silence was welcomed.  
The next time I opened my weary eyes the throbbing in my had had vanished, along with the golden sun. I felt like shit...and I knew I looked it to. At first when the empty chair came into my vision, my feelings twaged and I felt a little hurt. Someone had alwasy been with Johnny. Ok so maybe I was AS bad off as Johnny, but still a girl feelings can get real hurt when something like that happens. That's when I noticed a piece of folded notebook paper standing out against the brown wood. Alexa. My name was printes neatly on the cover, and I reached out a shaking hand.   
Unfolding the paper, I propted myself up a little higher on the pillows and began to read.  
  
Ally,  
By the time you read this, I'll already be gone. Which knowing you I a good thing, cuz you'd skin me if I was still there when you read this. I'm sorry I let this happen to you, I feel really bad. And I know it's my fault. I coulda made you ride home with me, thrown you in the truck and locked the door. Propably woulda been considered kidnappin' but hey, what I wouldn't do for you. Hehe. I'm leaving town for a few days, I need to get some things straightened out. I'll be back soon, stay outta trouble. I love you Alexa, and I always will. Yours, Two-Bit.  
  
My breath came out in short gasps, and I thought I was gonna cry again. But I wouldn't let myself. I wouldn't do it. I re-read the note over and over again at least a thousand time times before it all really set in. And when it did it hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't know what to do, tere was only one thing I could do..."SODAPOP!" 


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